And that’s when it hit me: Joel allowed himself to be guided by another man with the expertise, advice, and wisdom to assist him in the moment. Sure, it was to help catch a fish in this beautiful natural setting, but the lesson learned that day was as crystal clear as the Yellowstone’s waters. As men, we often don’t allow ourselves the chance to be witnessed, guided, or—more to the point—to have open, honest conversations with other men about what we may be struggling with at any given time. That’s exactly why I’m in Montana.
According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, nearly one in ten men experience some form of anxiety or depression, but less than half seek treatment. Additionally, national suicide rates have risen, and men die by suicide at a rate four times higher than women, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
By all accounts, men require support for various mental health issues, including but not limited to PTSD from military combat, substance abuse, marital or family problems, plus the gamut of work-related stress that ultimately piles up. Why men don’t seek the support they need is complicated—shame, lack of resources, and fear of stigma are a few reasons. A collective called The Journeymen is trying to change all that, one adventurous trip at a time.
“If it’s a cultural problem, then there needs to be a cultural solution—especially for men who don’t traditionally seek out safe spaces to tell their stories,” says Journeymen founder Joshua Cogan, who has also organized men’s retreats in Joshua Tree, West Virginia, and some of the largest wilderness areas throughout the country. “When we take guys out into the land, we can connect in deeper, more meaningful ways.”
Joshua also likes to say that the land is bigger than all of us—that its beauty, wisdom, and magnitude can hold men’s stories in profound ways without distraction from everyday life. Call it a community-based kinship with nature, or simply a beautiful natural place where you can let your guard down. Either way, a therapist’s office this is not.
That notion becomes immediately clear to me later that night, as I sit around a campfire eating grilled tri-tip steak and spicy cobs of Mexican street corn at Pinecreek Campground, in Custer Gallatin National Forest. I’m with 25 other men from a wide swath of cultural and socio-economic backgrounds who’ve traveled across the country for this three-day retreat in the Montana wilderness. It’s here where I meet another retreat participant, Dave Butenas, who is an addiction counselor based in Massachusetts.
As embers blow in the nighttime air, Butenas tells me about his wife’s years-long battle with breast cancer, and how some of his patients have tragically succumbed to their self-destructive behavior. “The benefit of participating in Journeymen is that I now have an outlet for processing those feelings,” he says. “This group is ready and willing to go to those places with you, and it’s helped me feel more comfortable opening up about the mental toll that work and life can take.”